A Different Blog Post | Arlington, VA

I'm well aware I am not alone in 'feeling all the feelings', processing the different thoughts, shifting between gratefulness and at times intense, real worry for loved ones both near and far. My husband and I have been extremely fortunate to be able to continue working from home, and our family members are all safe and healthy.

For the last two weeks, we have shifted our day to day life, like hundreds of thousands of others around the world. I know, we have nothing to complain about. Countless others have lost loved ones due to the pandemic, have lost jobs, entire businesses, you name it. If you're reading this, chances are you too have been affected by "Covid-19" (Coronavirus). It's absolutely crazy to think how easily such a 'random' word has been introduced to us, and become a part of our everyday communication, while so drastically affecting our world. (Trust me, I have mixed feelings about inserting the word into this post).

As a community support worker, I have been calling and texting close to 20+ families each week, the first week, 'things [were] fine' with most of my families. Deep down, I felt the anxiety building up, knowing this would not be the case for very long at all. Feeling limited in the support I could provide my families, being far away, lacking the technology devices and/or skills to be able to connect via a video call, knowing the families I work with are already very limited in the opportunities and supports they can connect to. Second week. Sure enough, the calls came in, one after another. Worry. Fear. Misinformation. Bored. Scared. Lack of food. Crisis. Stress. These are all the words that would sum up every conversation with my families - regardless of age.

By Thursday this week, it hit me. The weight of 'caring' for my families, while caring for my own family with all the limitations involved, and also caring for myself, and my household, it became a lot to take in. I felt stuck. Exhausted. Overwhelmed with the thought that 'this is only going to get worse' for my families. How many calls would be made to Child Protection Services? How much will Domestic Violence cases increase during this time? How will my families recover from this, and how long will it take them to get back to their 'normal' (which is already extremely difficult day-to-day)? How long will I be able to support them with the limitations of having to tele-work? How many relationships will be broken? How much longer will I still have my own job? ...

I sat down to watch Netflix, fighting back tears. Called my mother, who always knows how to comfort me, and decided to go out for a walk with my camera. I let myself be directed by color, contrast, beauty, life, loneliness, and frames that reflect our current everyday. During my walk, I reflected on resilience, strength and the drive to live that humans are such experts at. I know my families are extremely courageous, incredibly strong, they are resilient, and they will get through this. WE are strong, WE are resilient, and we are fortunate to see beauty, connectedness, and community sprouting even through such a dark moment. And for now, I take comfort in this, and I choose to keep doing my best, practicing kindness and gratefulness, and being intentional in self-compassion.

Thanks for reading.

Stay Safe,

G.